What Its Really For, Why They Really Produce It

What It’s Really For, Why They Really Made It, What It Really Means, Etc.

What is the Real Reason for Inventing God

So we could replace him with the cellphone.

Why They Invented Texting

To be obnoxious

To send secret messages in class

Te send secret messages right in front of everyone else

What’s The Next Killer Application

Thought To Texting

And After That

Thought to Pot Thought to Texting

And After That?

Pot Thought Texting to Computer Generated Avatars

Why They Invented Downloadable Ringtones

So you can be obnoxious

So you can find a frequency older people can’t hear

The Real Reason Why Phones Vibrate

So teens cans answer phone without anyone knowing

Used As a S__ toy.

To Be cool at the movies

Why Russia Still Has Nukes

In case the U.S. goes crazy with greed

In case China goes crazy with greed

In case India goes crazy with greed

In case (Insert nation or corporation here) goes crazy with greed

The Real Reason Why They Put Cameras In Cell Phones

Baby Pictures

Cat Pictures

Surveillance

Voyeurism

Amateur Porn

The Real Reason For Email

So unemployed hackers can create denial of service computer server crashes

So rouge nations can create denial of service computer server crashes

For people who are tired of IMing and Texting.

As People Get smarter, they like to think more before they write.

The Real Reason for Limewire

To hide secret hacks and exchange them.

What is Rap Music Really for

To revive poetry

To restore our collective feeble attention span

The Real Reason Why People Went to See Transformers II

Megan Fox

Why They Invented the Cube

So parents can feel cool about shelling out $20 grand for a car that doesn’t even get very good gas mileage and looks like a piece of crap.

So you have to buy a second car for the expressway.

The Real Reason for StumbleUpon.com

So you can catalog thousands of websites as favorites that you never actually look at.

To make friends on the basis of thousands of websites that you never look at.

The Real Reason for Condos

So there could be a reason for the housing bubble

The Real Reason for Wheelchair Parking Spots

So ordinary normal people can finagle the best parking spots

The Real Reason for Google

World Domination through control and manipulation of information access

The Real Reason For Facebook

World Domination through control and manipulation of personal information.

The Real Reason for MySpace

Hotties and Mafia Wars

The Real Reason for huge subwoofers in small cars

So you can send an equal opportunity F you to just about everybody.

Why GM shitcanned the first electric car (EV1) in 1996 or thereabouts

It was too popular.  It threatened the oil companies.

The Real Reasons Why the Banks take 3 dollars off the top of ATM withdrawls

It costs money to print money.  You have to print money to buy all that ink and paper so you can print more money.  This in turn costs money, so you have to print more money.  Then you have to persuade your banking friends at the federal reserve to print money.  This costs money.  You have to print that money.  You have to buy the extra ink and paper to print that money.  This costs more money.  You have to print money for that.

What Really is the single thing that most people under 30 really want?

To stay that way.

Why does life begin after 40 instead of after 30?

Because people under 30 want to stay that way and it often takes a decade to figure out that they can’t. or really don’t want to.  They just thought they did.

Why to so many people under 30 go to clubs?  Clubbing?

Because they play the same music they listen to in their cars and at work.

Ecstasy

Why do so many people under 30 listen to clubbing music in their cars?

Because they play the same music that they hear in clubs.

Ecstasy flashbacks

Why do people watch reality TV?

In a surreal world, it takes a lot to find something more unreal than your day to day existence.

What is the single most important song ever made?

The Rolling Stones – You Can’t Always Get What You Want.

Why do dolphins “play” or communicate with people

They are trying to tell us we can learn to cooperate more and compete less, and that destroying the world is not necessary in order to get what you want.  That patience is a virtue.  They are saying “look at us.  We are smart.  And we are happy.  We like to play with each other. You can be too.”